If I could describe my pregnancy with Erin in one word it would be tense.
I was happy to be expecting again, but the question that was in the
forefront of my mind at all times was when will this one die too? (I
still think this way at times, but that is for another post) Most women
who are pregnant have feelings of excitement, joy, happiness, bliss.
All the words you would use to describe some of the happiest times in your
life. She spends the next 9 months planning for the arrival of her
baby. Making a nursery, researching baby products, talking about the
joys and not-so-joys of her pregnancy.
A Rainbow Mom tends to
experience her pregnancy much more differently. She wonders if every
little twitch or bout of pain is the end of the life inside of her. She
is happy when she feels her baby moving, but freaks out the moment it
stops. (I would eat A LOT of chocolate and sweets to keep Erin moving to
calm this fear!) I read a book during my rainbow pregnancy titled, Pregnancy After A Loss.
It was one of the most helpful books for me. Don't get me wrong, I
still referred to my regular pregnancy books, but this one sat on my
nightstand while the others remained on the bookshelf. Carol Lanham
does such a great job at telling her readers what to expect in this
different pregnancy. What types of special testing you may have that
are not routine for normal pregnant woman. Most importantly, she
addresses what your thoughts and feelings may be, and how to cope with
them. These words really helped me relax during the bad times while
pregnant with Erin. The main thing that many of those pregnant after a
loss are asked to give up by their doctor is the level of stress on your
body. Being high risk for preterm labor, I was not allowed to exercise
(besides walking). I was put on bed rest from 26-36 weeks due to my
cervix shortening, I also had to take weekly 17P alpha-Hydroxyprogesterone
(17p) shots to help keep my body from going into preterm labor. Yes,
this pregnancy was so different from my pregnancy with Rachel. I ran on
a daily basis, felt great, and thought I could do anything a normal
person could. I didn't feel bad for a second that I had to give those
things up when I got pregnant with Erin. Because all that I wanted in
the end was a healthy, living, breathing child. I would have done
anything, no questions asked, to get that. So when people think that
just because they ran a marathon while pregnant that you can too, I
cringe. It takes every ounce of my being to not say anything to that
person. (just to be nice) For those pregnant with their rainbow babies
out there: If someone flat out tells you to ignore your doctor's
reservations on anything while pregnant because they ran a marathon while pregnant and nothing happened to them; just walk away. You'll know that the decisions you make for your rainbow will be the best!
Running with Soul
This is an ongoing blog about how I am running through life.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
A Race for Others
This March, I will be running a half marathon (13.1 miles) to help
raise money for World Vision. Although this is by far not my first half
marathon, I'm excited to be doing this race for two reasons:
1) The training has been helping me focus on losing my post-partum weight and getting back into shape. I only have about 11 pounds of 50 left to go! I need to lose it by mid May since Ping and I will be traveling to Hawaii for our 5 year wedding anniversary. All I have in my swim suit drawer are bikinis and I gotta look hot in them again. ("Stretch Mark Central" might have other plans)
2) Most importantly, this is the first race I will be raising funds for. Out of all the races I've done and the charity opportunities that have gone along with them I have always opted to just pay the registration fee and run the race. Our church, First Baptist Church of Flushing, has formed a team to raise money for World Vision. I've sent out letters via email asking for support and now have been sent 3 children to find people to sponsor. If you would like to help support my efforts and the efforts of World Vision, you can make a donation on my donation page. If you would like to sponsor one of the 3 children that I have here on my desk, you can simply contact me here or leave a comment to this post and I will contact you.
If you look on my donation page, you can see that I am wearing a shirt that says, "Always Running With Rachel Grace." When I was pregnant with Rachel, I continued to run with my doctor's blessing. To this day, I still feel Rachel's presence during every run. I always imagined continuing to run with her after she was born...pushing the jogging stroller and both of us soaking up our surroundings as they whizzed by. I am saddened that we never had that chance to run together like that, but it is comforting to know that she is still there with me out on the roads and waiting at each finish line, cheering me on. Now, with Erin in the stroller, I feel Rachel by my side keeping the two of us company.
1) The training has been helping me focus on losing my post-partum weight and getting back into shape. I only have about 11 pounds of 50 left to go! I need to lose it by mid May since Ping and I will be traveling to Hawaii for our 5 year wedding anniversary. All I have in my swim suit drawer are bikinis and I gotta look hot in them again. ("Stretch Mark Central" might have other plans)
2) Most importantly, this is the first race I will be raising funds for. Out of all the races I've done and the charity opportunities that have gone along with them I have always opted to just pay the registration fee and run the race. Our church, First Baptist Church of Flushing, has formed a team to raise money for World Vision. I've sent out letters via email asking for support and now have been sent 3 children to find people to sponsor. If you would like to help support my efforts and the efforts of World Vision, you can make a donation on my donation page. If you would like to sponsor one of the 3 children that I have here on my desk, you can simply contact me here or leave a comment to this post and I will contact you.
If you look on my donation page, you can see that I am wearing a shirt that says, "Always Running With Rachel Grace." When I was pregnant with Rachel, I continued to run with my doctor's blessing. To this day, I still feel Rachel's presence during every run. I always imagined continuing to run with her after she was born...pushing the jogging stroller and both of us soaking up our surroundings as they whizzed by. I am saddened that we never had that chance to run together like that, but it is comforting to know that she is still there with me out on the roads and waiting at each finish line, cheering me on. Now, with Erin in the stroller, I feel Rachel by my side keeping the two of us company.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
What's Yours is Mine
I've
gotten into the good habit of only putting one food in front of Erin
during meals. It not only helps her eat her veggies and other healthy
things first, but helps cut down on the fuss if she doesn't want what
I'm putting on her tray, but rather the other food at the table. This
particular morning yogurt and grapes were on the menu for breakfast. I
fed Erin her yogurt first and decided I would give her grapes while I
ate my bowl of cheerios so her hands would be
occupied. I bring out our foods, set down my bowl of cereal, and put a
few grapes on her tray. I then proceed to grab my bowl of Cheerios and enjoy my
breakfast. Erin had another plan: Simply scream bloody murder, throw
the grapes on her tray to the floor and thrash about in her tiny chair
until she obtains a few of what she thinks are her Cheerios.
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